capturing the beautiful calamity of healing in therapy

Tag: recovery

Therapy Beyond the Problem

Therapy Beyond the Problem

Enter our therapy session. She was cordial but reserved. Friendly, but still distant. Showed up to therapy every week, but seemed dubious and calculating. When we first started working together, she admitted she didn’t really believe in therapy or counseling, and that was okay, because, […]

Victim Vs. Survivor Vs. Thriver

Victim Vs. Survivor Vs. Thriver

Trauma is complicated. However, understanding the differences between victim, survivor, thriver can offer a gratifying perspective shift to measure individual progress. After all, in terms of mental well-being, sometimes all we have is our perspectives. Fortunately, our perspectives provide tremendous insight on how we see […]

New Year, Now What?

New Year, Now What?

As we close the month of December, we reach that time where New Year resolutions start surfacing everywhere. This is met with intense reactions, as people polarize with their biases about whether or not making such goals is worth it. By now, it is fairly […]

The Three Questions of Therapy

The Three Questions of Therapy

Why go to therapy?  One of my first clients taught me that therapy- and the greater meaning of existence- eventually came down to exploring (and possibly answering) three fundamental, chronological questions: Why should I live? How should I live? What can I do to make my […]

Is everyone adulting but me?

I recently read a statistic claiming that Millenials report higher levels of anxiety and  depression than any other generation at the same age reported. I am not interested in the actual research behind this statistic. Perhaps it’s true, or perhaps our generation is just more […]

“I Relapsed When I Got Fat.”

I relapsed when I got fat. She said this with a matter-of-fact shrug and then gave me a smirk. She was six days sober and and teetering between the underweight and normal weight charts.  It was our first therapy session, and we were talking about […]

The Opposite of Being Loved is Not Being Hated; It’s Being Misunderstood

The Opposite of Being Loved is Not Being Hated; It’s Being Misunderstood

I don’t have therapy goals. I just hate myself. She practically spat those words at me during our intake, when we were sitting across from each other, going back-and-forth, engaging in the typical therapist question-and-answer banter. She didn’t have defined therapy goals or objectives, and […]

When Clients Lie in Therapy

Most clients lie in therapy. They omit, they change stories, they minimize or dramatize, they fabricate, and I’m absolutely okay with it. There are infinite reasons “why” people lie, but it typically can be summarized into this: lying is coping. It’s a primitive means of […]

Falling In Love with The Process

My fiancé, who biasedly is one of the smartest therapists I consult and routinely spend my time with, has a mantra: You gotta fall in love with the process. This statement, though simple, represents such a contradiction to our results-driven, goals-achieved, checklist-finished society. We are conditioned to […]

Fifty Shades of Recovery

We throw around this word “recovery” all the time, as if it is some kind of magical elixir or concrete trophy of success. We use it simplistically, an overarching term that neglects to address the subjectivity that characterize its very nature. I don’t believe anything about recovery is simple, […]