capturing the beautiful calamity of healing in therapy

Tag: psychotherapy

Does My Therapist Think About Me? Everything Between the Sessions

Does My Therapist Think About Me? Everything Between the Sessions

You always wondered, does my therapist think about me? One of our first sessions. You told me you went to therapy years ago and that question constantly nagged at you. What did that therapist think of you? Did she judge your stories? Did your secrets […]

How To Find The Right Therapist: The Art & The Science

How To Find The Right Therapist: The Art & The Science

Yeah, so, I’ve never really liked therapy. All my therapists sucked. If I knew how to find the right therapist, maybe I’d get something out of this?  How many times have I heard this? How many times have clients sat across from me, eyes glazed […]

Why Everyone Can Benefit from DBT

Why Everyone Can Benefit from DBT

When Marsha Linehan developed Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), it became widely used among practitioners in the treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder, substance use disorders, eating disorders, and mood disorders. And, yet, DBT skills have universal importance- for just about anyone. While they are effective in treating mental […]

Your Therapist Will Not Change Your Life

Your Therapist Will Not Change Your Life

Even though I’m a therapist, I’m certainly not a miracle worker. I (mostly) can’t read your mind. And, I won’t change your life. I will guide, assist, empathize, and support you unconditionally.  I will sit with you while you explore your inner demons and love […]

Is everyone adulting but me?

I recently read a statistic claiming that Millenials report higher levels of anxiety and  depression than any other generation at the same age reported. I am not interested in the actual research behind this statistic. Perhaps it’s true, or perhaps our generation is just more […]

“I Relapsed When I Got Fat.”

I relapsed when I got fat. She said this with a matter-of-fact shrug and then gave me a smirk. She was six days sober and and teetering between the underweight and normal weight charts.  It was our first therapy session, and we were talking about […]

The Opposite of Being Loved is Not Being Hated; It’s Being Misunderstood

The Opposite of Being Loved is Not Being Hated; It’s Being Misunderstood

I don’t have therapy goals. I just hate myself. She practically spat those words at me during our intake, when we were sitting across from each other, going back-and-forth, engaging in the typical therapist question-and-answer banter. She didn’t have defined therapy goals or objectives, and […]

When Clients Lie in Therapy

Most clients lie in therapy. They omit, they change stories, they minimize or dramatize, they fabricate, and I’m absolutely okay with it. There are infinite reasons “why” people lie, but it typically can be summarized into this: lying is coping. It’s a primitive means of […]

The Client I Won’t Give Up On

I liked her the first moment she walked into my office. She was funny, hysterical actually, with a dry sense of humor that reminded me of my own, and she was wise beyond her years, transparent about all her mental scars and self-deprecating thoughts. This […]

The S.T.U.C.K Series: Part 2

I know what I need to do, but I just can’t do it.  In the first part of this series, I described the foundation for my S.T.U.C.K theory, outlining the acronym “scared to undergo change and/or knowledge.” Feeling stuck is one of the most prevalent problems […]