capturing the beautiful calamity of healing in therapy

Tag: psychology

How To Find The Right Therapist: The Art & The Science

How To Find The Right Therapist: The Art & The Science

Yeah, so, I’ve never really liked therapy. All my therapists sucked. If I knew how to find the right therapist, maybe I’d get something out of this?  How many times have I heard this? How many times have clients sat across from me, eyes glazed […]

Why Everyone Can Benefit from DBT

Why Everyone Can Benefit from DBT

When Marsha Linehan developed Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), it became widely used among practitioners in the treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder, substance use disorders, eating disorders, and mood disorders. And, yet, DBT skills have universal importance- for just about anyone. While they are effective in treating mental […]

The Three Questions of Therapy

The Three Questions of Therapy

Why go to therapy?  One of my first clients taught me that therapy- and the greater meaning of existence- eventually came down to exploring (and possibly answering) three fundamental, chronological questions: Why should I live? How should I live? What can I do to make my […]

“I Relapsed When I Got Fat.”

I relapsed when I got fat. She said this with a matter-of-fact shrug and then gave me a smirk. She was six days sober and and teetering between the underweight and normal weight charts.  It was our first therapy session, and we were talking about […]

The Opposite of Being Loved is Not Being Hated; It’s Being Misunderstood

The Opposite of Being Loved is Not Being Hated; It’s Being Misunderstood

I don’t have therapy goals. I just hate myself. She practically spat those words at me during our intake, when we were sitting across from each other, going back-and-forth, engaging in the typical therapist question-and-answer banter. She didn’t have defined therapy goals or objectives, and […]

Happiness & Brushing Your Teeth

What are your goals for therapy? Client shrugs. Looks down at the ground, uncertain with herself, uncertain with everything around her, nervous and clearly uncomfortable in her own skin. I don’t know. I just want to be happy.  Every therapist in every office has heard this […]

Why I Cannot Tell You How to Live Your Life

Well, what do YOU think I should do? It’s a question most well-intentioned clients ask at one point or another, during an especially frustrating, gridlocked situation. It feels like an appropriate and even harmless question. After all, aren’t you just trying to make the right […]

7 signs therapy is working

It is no secret that mental health professionals constantly argue about how to define progress and change. This is why I adamantly believe there are Fifty Shades of Recovery. Successful treatment will always be subjective, and concise results are rarely black-and-white. But with all these […]

Confusion, Chaos, and the Quarter-Life Crisis

It is the clichéd running joke among our Millennial generation. The quarter-life crisis- a transition characterized by the utter lack of “knowing how to adult,” the confusing time marked by a series of “in-betweens” applicable to everything from a job to a relationship to an […]

The 3-Ingredient Good Life Recipe

If I had to break down “how to have a good life” into an equation, it would go something like this: If you can’t find happiness, find passion. And if you can’t find passion, find purpose. And if you can’t find purpose, find gratitude. And […]