capturing the beautiful calamity of healing in therapy

Tag: mental health awareness

Therapy Beyond the Problem

Therapy Beyond the Problem

Enter our therapy session. She was cordial but reserved. Friendly, but still distant. Showed up to therapy every week, but seemed dubious and calculating. When we first started working together, she admitted she didn’t really believe in therapy or counseling, and that was okay, because, […]

The Opposite of Being Loved is Not Being Hated; It’s Being Misunderstood

The Opposite of Being Loved is Not Being Hated; It’s Being Misunderstood

I don’t have therapy goals. I just hate myself. She practically spat those words at me during our intake, when we were sitting across from each other, going back-and-forth, engaging in the typical therapist question-and-answer banter. She didn’t have defined therapy goals or objectives, and […]

When Clients Lie in Therapy

Most clients lie in therapy. They omit, they change stories, they minimize or dramatize, they fabricate, and I’m absolutely okay with it. There are infinite reasons “why” people lie, but it typically can be summarized into this: lying is coping. It’s a primitive means of […]

The Client who Hated Therapists

She was broken when I first met her. These were her words, not mine, and she hated therapists. Barely made eye contact, hair hanging long in front of her face, a hollow shell of trauma laden with all the resulting symptoms that come from that- scars up […]

We must cherish our future selves.

Impulsive. It’s a dynamic force found in all walks of human life. We see it in the shopper who cannot resist a new handbag to reward herself for a “terrible day at work”, the individual who hooks up with a stranger to briefly escape his […]

What if you don’t want to climb the ladder?

It is five in the afternoon, and I am sweating under a blistering California sun watching college graduates happily receive their diplomas. My brother is among the sea of pointy, tasseled hats, and I’m beaming with pride. He’s done good work- flipping through pages of textbooks, […]

Go make LIFE happen!

Although it’s definitely not exclusive to psychotherapy, I am a huge fan of the ever-popular bucket lists. In fact, I love these lists so much that I regularly update my own and incorporate the technique into my therapy groups and individual sessions. I value having […]

The 3-Ingredient Good Life Recipe

If I had to break down “how to have a good life” into an equation, it would go something like this: If you can’t find happiness, find passion. And if you can’t find passion, find purpose. And if you can’t find purpose, find gratitude. And […]

You Better be Praising Your Clients!

This post will be short, concise, and straightforward. It’s been a very busy week with a lot of awesome sessions, and a common theme has stood out to me: We don’t give people nearly enough validation. I believe in the power of genuine compliments. I […]

Fifty Shades of Recovery

We throw around this word “recovery” all the time, as if it is some kind of magical elixir or concrete trophy of success. We use it simplistically, an overarching term that neglects to address the subjectivity that characterize its very nature. I don’t believe anything about recovery is simple, […]