capturing the beautiful calamity of healing in therapy

Tag: marriage and family therapist

The Best Ways to Find Your Happy

The Best Ways to Find Your Happy

How to Be Happy? A simple Google search for how to be happy yields me 175,000,000 results in a mere 0.53 seconds. I’m convinced this is searched online every moment of every day. We are obsessed with being happy, finding inner peace, maximizing the day, embracing YOLO. We want […]

Victim Vs. Survivor Vs. Thriver

Victim Vs. Survivor Vs. Thriver

Trauma is complicated. However, understanding the differences between victim, survivor, thriver can offer a gratifying perspective shift to measure individual progress. After all, in terms of mental well-being, sometimes all we have is our perspectives. Fortunately, our perspectives provide tremendous insight on how we see […]

The exposed hour: taking off the makeup in therapy

The exposed hour: taking off the makeup in therapy

Three years ago, when I was working for an inpatient treatment center, I facilitated a self-esteem and body image group for women. We were a cluster of complex and rich personalities- women of all different sizes and complexions and war stories, each carrying backpacks of […]

The Three Questions of Therapy

The Three Questions of Therapy

Why go to therapy?  One of my first clients taught me that therapy- and the greater meaning of existence- eventually came down to exploring (and possibly answering) three fundamental, chronological questions: Why should I live? How should I live? What can I do to make my […]

“I Relapsed When I Got Fat.”

I relapsed when I got fat. She said this with a matter-of-fact shrug and then gave me a smirk. She was six days sober and and teetering between the underweight and normal weight charts.  It was our first therapy session, and we were talking about […]

The Client I Won’t Give Up On

I liked her the first moment she walked into my office. She was funny, hysterical actually, with a dry sense of humor that reminded me of my own, and she was wise beyond her years, transparent about all her mental scars and self-deprecating thoughts. This […]

The S.T.U.C.K Series: Part 2

I know what I need to do, but I just can’t do it.  In the first part of this series, I described the foundation for my S.T.U.C.K theory, outlining the acronym “scared to undergo change and/or knowledge.” Feeling stuck is one of the most prevalent problems […]

The S.T.U.C.K Series: Part One

I know what I need to do, but I just can’t do it. Taylor entered therapy knowing exactly what was wrong with him and exactly how to cope with it. He could outline his defense mechanisms, as if he had recited a psychology textbook, and explain his […]

When the Healing Hurts

When the Healing Hurts

Years ago, after several continuous no-shows and the dreaded feeling I had that she wasn’t coming back, one of my clients walked in, nervously admitting her apprehension about therapy. After I left,  I felt worse, she said. I can’t go through with this if it’s going to make me feel worse […]

Happiness & Brushing Your Teeth

What are your goals for therapy? Client shrugs. Looks down at the ground, uncertain with herself, uncertain with everything around her, nervous and clearly uncomfortable in her own skin. I don’t know. I just want to be happy.  Every therapist in every office has heard this […]