capturing the beautiful calamity of healing in therapy

Tag: low self-esteem

The Opposite of Being Loved is Not Being Hated; It’s Being Misunderstood

The Opposite of Being Loved is Not Being Hated; It’s Being Misunderstood

I don’t have therapy goals. I just hate myself. She practically spat those words at me during our intake, when we were sitting across from each other, going back-and-forth, engaging in the typical therapist question-and-answer banter. She didn’t have defined therapy goals or objectives, and […]

Validation: The Glue of Any Relationship

If I could teach a lesson to everyone in the world, if someone gave me the task of teaching all my clients JUST ONE THING to improve their social relationships and happiness with others, it would be the art of validation. Validation is the foundation […]

What if you don’t want to climb the ladder?

It is five in the afternoon, and I am sweating under a blistering California sun watching college graduates happily receive their diplomas. My brother is among the sea of pointy, tasseled hats, and I’m beaming with pride. He’s done good work- flipping through pages of textbooks, […]

Why You Can’t Shut People Out

My clients sometimes tell me that they push people away to avoid getting hurt. To them, closeness is synonymous with rejection, and they will avoid such bonding as a means to prevent the inevitable pain. These people tell me they have been hurt too many […]

Stop Waiting for Rock Bottom.

If you are suffering, in any capacity, you have permission to ask for help. You don’t need to hit any significant milestone. You don’t need a reason or justification. You don’t even need a tangible problem. If you are suffering, you deserve to heal. It’s […]