capturing the beautiful calamity of healing in therapy

Tag: how to do therapy

Love When Your Partner Was Sexually Abused: The Healing Pieces & The Journey For Connection

Love When Your Partner Was Sexually Abused: The Healing Pieces & The Journey For Connection

How do you have a healthy relationship if your partner was sexually abused? This article discusses a topic society rarely addresses. The devastating sexual abuse epidemic stands in the societal limelight more than ever. Today, we provide more advocacy, research, and resources to survivors more […]

Therapy Beyond the Problem

Therapy Beyond the Problem

Enter our therapy session. She was cordial but reserved. Friendly, but still distant. Showed up to therapy every week, but seemed dubious and calculating. When we first started working together, she admitted she didn’t really believe in therapy or counseling, and that was okay, because, […]

Your Therapist Will Not Change Your Life

Your Therapist Will Not Change Your Life

Even though I’m a therapist, I’m certainly not a miracle worker. I (mostly) can’t read your mind. And, I won’t change your life. I will guide, assist, empathize, and support you unconditionally.  I will sit with you while you explore your inner demons and love […]

Licensed in the State of California

Licensed in the State of California

I have been officially licensed for one month! In a nutshell, this means I completed graduate school, attained 3000 clinical hours in a variety of categories, and passed two licensing exams. The Board of Behavioral Sciences gathered all this information and deemed me competent to reach […]

It’s not about the problem. It’s about how we cope with it.

It’s not about the problem. It’s about how we cope with it.

Mary just seemed to be branded with perpetual bad luck. There’s really no other way to put it. She literally seemed cursed. She started therapy soon after sustaining a life-threatening injury and now needed to cope with the aftermath of chronic pain and forced unemployment.When we first […]

The Opposite of Being Loved is Not Being Hated; It’s Being Misunderstood

The Opposite of Being Loved is Not Being Hated; It’s Being Misunderstood

I don’t have therapy goals. I just hate myself. She practically spat those words at me during our intake, when we were sitting across from each other, going back-and-forth, engaging in the typical therapist question-and-answer banter. She didn’t have defined therapy goals or objectives, and […]

When Clients Lie in Therapy

Most clients lie in therapy. They omit, they change stories, they minimize or dramatize, they fabricate, and I’m absolutely okay with it. There are infinite reasons “why” people lie, but it typically can be summarized into this: lying is coping. It’s a primitive means of […]

The Client I Won’t Give Up On

I liked her the first moment she walked into my office. She was funny, hysterical actually, with a dry sense of humor that reminded me of my own, and she was wise beyond her years, transparent about all her mental scars and self-deprecating thoughts. This […]

The S.T.U.C.K Series: Part 2

I know what I need to do, but I just can’t do it.  In the first part of this series, I described the foundation for my S.T.U.C.K theory, outlining the acronym “scared to undergo change and/or knowledge.” Feeling stuck is one of the most prevalent problems […]

The S.T.U.C.K Series: Part One

I know what I need to do, but I just can’t do it. Taylor entered therapy knowing exactly what was wrong with him and exactly how to cope with it. He could outline his defense mechanisms, as if he had recited a psychology textbook, and explain his […]