capturing the beautiful calamity of healing in therapy

Tag: anxiety

You Wanted To Know How To Love Yourself

You Wanted To Know How To Love Yourself

You wanted to know how to love yourself because you knew loving yourself was important.  You also wanted to know why you hurt so much inside, and why, no matter what you did, you felt inferior, incompetent, and ashamed. Unfortunately, you were also in love […]

Therapy Beyond the Problem

Therapy Beyond the Problem

Enter our therapy session. She was cordial but reserved. Friendly, but still distant. Showed up to therapy every week, but seemed dubious and calculating. When we first started working together, she admitted she didn’t really believe in therapy or counseling, and that was okay, because, […]

Victim Vs. Survivor Vs. Thriver

Victim Vs. Survivor Vs. Thriver

Trauma is complicated. However, understanding the differences between victim, survivor, thriver can offer a gratifying perspective shift to measure individual progress. After all, in terms of mental well-being, sometimes all we have is our perspectives. Fortunately, our perspectives provide tremendous insight on how we see […]

Why Everyone Can Benefit from DBT

Why Everyone Can Benefit from DBT

When Marsha Linehan developed Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), it became widely used among practitioners in the treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder, substance use disorders, eating disorders, and mood disorders. And, yet, DBT skills have universal importance- for just about anyone. While they are effective in treating mental […]

The Three Questions of Therapy

The Three Questions of Therapy

Why go to therapy?  One of my first clients taught me that therapy- and the greater meaning of existence- eventually came down to exploring (and possibly answering) three fundamental, chronological questions: Why should I live? How should I live? What can I do to make my […]

Is everyone adulting but me?

I recently read a statistic claiming that Millenials report higher levels of anxiety and  depression than any other generation at the same age reported. I am not interested in the actual research behind this statistic. Perhaps it’s true, or perhaps our generation is just more […]

The Client I Won’t Give Up On

I liked her the first moment she walked into my office. She was funny, hysterical actually, with a dry sense of humor that reminded me of my own, and she was wise beyond her years, transparent about all her mental scars and self-deprecating thoughts. This […]

The S.T.U.C.K Series: Part 2

I know what I need to do, but I just can’t do it.  In the first part of this series, I described the foundation for my S.T.U.C.K theory, outlining the acronym “scared to undergo change and/or knowledge.” Feeling stuck is one of the most prevalent problems […]

The S.T.U.C.K Series: Part One

I know what I need to do, but I just can’t do it. Taylor entered therapy knowing exactly what was wrong with him and exactly how to cope with it. He could outline his defense mechanisms, as if he had recited a psychology textbook, and explain his […]

When the Healing Hurts

When the Healing Hurts

Years ago, after several continuous no-shows and the dreaded feeling I had that she wasn’t coming back, one of my clients walked in, nervously admitting her apprehension about therapy. After I left,  I felt worse, she said. I can’t go through with this if it’s going to make me feel worse […]