capturing the beautiful calamity of healing in therapy

Tag: addiction

“I Relapsed When I Got Fat.”

I relapsed when I got fat. She said this with a matter-of-fact shrug and then gave me a smirk. She was six days sober and and teetering between the underweight and normal weight charts.  It was our first therapy session, and we were talking about […]

The S.T.U.C.K Series: Part 2

I know what I need to do, but I just can’t do it.  In the first part of this series, I described the foundation for my S.T.U.C.K theory, outlining the acronym “scared to undergo change and/or knowledge.” Feeling stuck is one of the most prevalent problems […]

Happiness & Brushing Your Teeth

What are your goals for therapy? Client shrugs. Looks down at the ground, uncertain with herself, uncertain with everything around her, nervous and clearly uncomfortable in her own skin. I don’t know. I just want to be happy.  Every therapist in every office has heard this […]

We must cherish our future selves.

Impulsive. It’s a dynamic force found in all walks of human life. We see it in the shopper who cannot resist a new handbag to reward herself for a “terrible day at work”, the individual who hooks up with a stranger to briefly escape his […]

Fifty Shades of Recovery

We throw around this word “recovery” all the time, as if it is some kind of magical elixir or concrete trophy of success. We use it simplistically, an overarching term that neglects to address the subjectivity that characterize its very nature. I don’t believe anything about recovery is simple, […]

Don’t be a passenger in your own car!

The point of this blog post is to share why getting in the driver’s seat is an essential part of mental health healing. Before I delve into my rationale, I want to emphasize that when you are a passenger in your own car, you are letting […]

The Normie Therapist & The Addict Client

I’m not an addict. I’ve never intravenously administered anything in my veins or chased any proverbial dragon or pawned something of value for desperate pocket change. I’ve never made up stories for pain medication prescriptions or dreaded a urine test for work. I don’t know what […]

Why You Can’t Shut People Out

My clients sometimes tell me that they push people away to avoid getting hurt. To them, closeness is synonymous with rejection, and they will avoid such bonding as a means to prevent the inevitable pain. These people tell me they have been hurt too many […]

Why You Absolutely Must Love Yourself

When you cannot love yourself, not much else in your life will really matter. The accomplishments won’t matter. The perfect body or the perfect car or perfect house won’t really matter, either. You may be on the proverbial hamster wheel towards success, doing what you […]

Stop Waiting for Rock Bottom.

If you are suffering, in any capacity, you have permission to ask for help. You don’t need to hit any significant milestone. You don’t need a reason or justification. You don’t even need a tangible problem. If you are suffering, you deserve to heal. It’s […]