capturing the beautiful calamity of healing in therapy

Tag: acceptance

No, really. It’s okay to change your mind.

No, really. It’s okay to change your mind.

Sometimes, in a world that adores bucket lists, commitments, and tried-and-true honors, in a world that covets moral conviction and loyalty, it’s okay to change your mind. That’s right. If something is no longer working, if you have outgrown something and the voice in the […]

The Client I Won’t Give Up On

I liked her the first moment she walked into my office. She was funny, hysterical actually, with a dry sense of humor that reminded me of my own, and she was wise beyond her years, transparent about all her mental scars and self-deprecating thoughts. This […]

Happiness & Brushing Your Teeth

What are your goals for therapy? Client shrugs. Looks down at the ground, uncertain with herself, uncertain with everything around her, nervous and clearly uncomfortable in her own skin. I don’t know. I just want to be happy.  Every therapist in every office has heard this […]

Standing for Change.

I am a therapist with an undergraduate degree in psychology and graduate degree in marriage and family therapy. I have obtained nearly 2500 clinical hours in schools, outpatient settings, rehabs, and hospitals working with various clients, and I genuinely love what I do. I have […]

#ThisPsychMajor is only the tip of the iceberg.

“Universities ought to have skin in the game. When a student shows up, they ought to say ‘Hey, that psych major deal, that philosophy major thing, that’s great, it’s important to have liberal arts … but realize, you’re going to be working [at] a Chick-fil-A” […]

Why Embracing Death Lets Us Embrace Life

Last night, I had a detailed and vivid dream that my father died. We have always been extremely close, and so I woke up scared and upset and angry. And throughout the day, with my clients and at work, it got me thinking. Like most, […]

Why You Can’t Shut People Out

My clients sometimes tell me that they push people away to avoid getting hurt. To them, closeness is synonymous with rejection, and they will avoid such bonding as a means to prevent the inevitable pain. These people tell me they have been hurt too many […]

Why You Absolutely Must Love Yourself

When you cannot love yourself, not much else in your life will really matter. The accomplishments won’t matter. The perfect body or the perfect car or perfect house won’t really matter, either. You may be on the proverbial hamster wheel towards success, doing what you […]

Stop Waiting for Rock Bottom.

If you are suffering, in any capacity, you have permission to ask for help. You don’t need to hit any significant milestone. You don’t need a reason or justification. You don’t even need a tangible problem. If you are suffering, you deserve to heal. It’s […]

The Chaotic Fallacy We Call Control

The Chaotic Fallacy We Call Control

Control is a word we throw around loosely, though the complexity of its meaning remains largely misunderstood. The serenity prayer, a beautiful mantra frequently used in Twelve Steps philosophy, God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the […]