capturing the beautiful calamity of healing in therapy

Therapy & The Therapist

How To Find The Right Therapist: The Art & The Science

How To Find The Right Therapist: The Art & The Science

Yeah, so, I’ve never really liked therapy. All my therapists sucked. If I knew how to find the right therapist, maybe I’d get something out of this?  How many times have I heard this? How many times have clients sat across from me, eyes glazed […]

Your Therapist Will Not Change Your Life

Your Therapist Will Not Change Your Life

Even though I’m a therapist, I’m certainly not a miracle worker. I (mostly) can’t read your mind. And, I won’t change your life. I will guide, assist, empathize, and support you unconditionally.  I will sit with you while you explore your inner demons and love […]

When Clients Lie in Therapy

Most clients lie in therapy. They omit, they change stories, they minimize or dramatize, they fabricate, and I’m absolutely okay with it. There are infinite reasons “why” people lie, but it typically can be summarized into this: lying is coping. It’s a primitive means of […]

The S.T.U.C.K Series: Part One

I know what I need to do, but I just can’t do it. Taylor entered therapy knowing exactly what was wrong with him and exactly how to cope with it. He could outline his defense mechanisms, as if he had recited a psychology textbook, and explain his […]

When the Healing Hurts

When the Healing Hurts

Years ago, after several continuous no-shows and the dreaded feeling I had that she wasn’t coming back, one of my clients walked in, nervously admitting her apprehension about therapy. After I left,  I felt worse, she said. I can’t go through with this if it’s going to make me feel worse […]

The Client who Hated Therapists

She was broken when I first met her. These were her words, not mine, and she hated therapists. Barely made eye contact, hair hanging long in front of her face, a hollow shell of trauma laden with all the resulting symptoms that come from that- scars up […]

Why I Cannot Tell You How to Live Your Life

Well, what do YOU think I should do? It’s a question most well-intentioned clients ask at one point or another, during an especially frustrating, gridlocked situation. It feels like an appropriate and even harmless question. After all, aren’t you just trying to make the right […]

7 signs therapy is working

It is no secret that mental health professionals constantly argue about how to define progress and change. This is why I adamantly believe there are Fifty Shades of Recovery. Successful treatment will always be subjective, and concise results are rarely black-and-white. But with all these […]

The Normie Therapist & The Addict Client

I’m not an addict. I’ve never intravenously administered anything in my veins or chased any proverbial dragon or pawned something of value for desperate pocket change. I’ve never made up stories for pain medication prescriptions or dreaded a urine test for work. I don’t know what […]

In Defense Of Having “Partial” Trust

I believe, at a core level, we are all humans trying to connect, understand, and be understood. We all need validation and confirmation to survive. We need feedback, frequently, and we need direction and interpretation sometimes. The foundation that creates this space, just like the […]