capturing the beautiful calamity of healing in therapy

All Populations

The exposed hour: taking off the makeup in therapy

The exposed hour: taking off the makeup in therapy

Three years ago, when I was working for an inpatient treatment center, I facilitated a self-esteem and body image group for women. We were a cluster of complex and rich personalities- women of all different sizes and complexions and war stories, each carrying backpacks of […]

It’s not about the problem. It’s about how we cope with it.

It’s not about the problem. It’s about how we cope with it.

Mary just seemed to be branded with perpetual bad luck. There’s really no other way to put it. She literally seemed cursed. She started therapy soon after sustaining a life-threatening injury and now needed to cope with the aftermath of chronic pain and forced unemployment.When we first […]

How To Charge Your Emotional Batteries

Nothing runs forever without maintenance, and we are no different. Just like the cell phones so many of us are hooked to, we frequently run ourselves to “low battery,” and this existence can drain our happiness, affect our physical functioning, and harm our relationships. Just […]

We must cherish our future selves.

Impulsive. It’s a dynamic force found in all walks of human life. We see it in the shopper who cannot resist a new handbag to reward herself for a “terrible day at work”, the individual who hooks up with a stranger to briefly escape his […]

Validation: The Glue of Any Relationship

If I could teach a lesson to everyone in the world, if someone gave me the task of teaching all my clients JUST ONE THING to improve their social relationships and happiness with others, it would be the art of validation. Validation is the foundation […]

What if you don’t want to climb the ladder?

It is five in the afternoon, and I am sweating under a blistering California sun watching college graduates happily receive their diplomas. My brother is among the sea of pointy, tasseled hats, and I’m beaming with pride. He’s done good work- flipping through pages of textbooks, […]

Go make LIFE happen!

Although it’s definitely not exclusive to psychotherapy, I am a huge fan of the ever-popular bucket lists. In fact, I love these lists so much that I regularly update my own and incorporate the technique into my therapy groups and individual sessions. I value having […]

Confusion, Chaos, and the Quarter-Life Crisis

It is the clichéd running joke among our Millennial generation. The quarter-life crisis- a transition characterized by the utter lack of “knowing how to adult,” the confusing time marked by a series of “in-betweens” applicable to everything from a job to a relationship to an […]

The 3-Ingredient Good Life Recipe

If I had to break down “how to have a good life” into an equation, it would go something like this: If you can’t find happiness, find passion. And if you can’t find passion, find purpose. And if you can’t find purpose, find gratitude. And […]

Falling In Love with The Process

My fiancé, who biasedly is one of the smartest therapists I consult and routinely spend my time with, has a mantra: You gotta fall in love with the process. This statement, though simple, represents such a contradiction to our results-driven, goals-achieved, checklist-finished society. We are conditioned to […]